BY SAHANA SUNDAR
Let me tell you a story about my friend, Sam—a man like no other. Sam wasn’t just a friend; he was a phenomenon, a fireball of energy. The kind of person you’d want to be, but deep down, you know you could never match his zest for life. You see, Sam could laugh at the smallest things. In fact, he laughed so much that you’d wonder if he was auditioning for a toothpaste ad! He’d crack up over a joke so bad it could make your grandmother’s dry humor look like stand-up comedy.
Sam was so chilled out that he wouldn’t bat an eye if his car got a flat tire. He’d just leave it there and walk the rest of the way—no complaints, no stress. The man once jumped out of a plane, his parachute failed to open, he hit the ground, and guess what? He stood up, brushed himself off, and smiled. This, my friends, is why we called him Fireball Sam. His energy? Endless. His enthusiasm? Unmatched.
Fireball Sam had one true love—Savia. According to Sam, Savia was everything. She was his "Savia the Saviour," "Savia the Sweet," "Savia the Smart," and above all, his angel. The man even dreamed of opening a restaurant just to make her smile. And not just any restaurant, mind you—this was going to be a sweet paradise, where he could cook up every dessert known to humankind!
Finally, the grand day arrived. Sam’s restaurant was open for business, and I, being his good friend—and, of course, a soldier—was invited. The minute I walked in, Sam, grinning like a kid who found a treasure chest full of ladoos, gave me a huge hug.
“Captain Sahana!” he boomed. “Wait till you hear the song I wrote for this occasion!”
Sam grabbed his guitar, struck a dramatic pose, and belted out:
Ho ho ho ho ho ho
Lira lira ko, lira lira lo
This is a world of half half full
This is a world laughing at you,
Don’t be a dull headed sheep going slow
Then you will be treated as dust on floor
Learn to drink dine dress and dance
And be a man of words and plans
Be a man of top top class
Holding your drink in a crystal glass
Ho ho ho ho ho ho
Lira lira lo lira lira lo
The crowd went wild, and Sam wasn’t done yet. He shouted, “And here’s my good friend, Sahana! You know, in the army, they say life’s mighty fine. They give you a hundred rupees and take back ninety-nine!”
The shoes in the army they say is mighty fine… if you ask for seven they give you number nine
Everyone laughed, and I couldn’t help but chuckle along. But I had to ask, “Hey Sam, where’s Savia? Your ‘Savia the Saviour,’ ‘Savia the Sweet,’ the one you’ll do anything to make smile?”
Sam’s eyes lit up. “Oh, she’ll be here any moment! You know, I’ve been busy all day preparing Sandesh, Kaju Katli, Rasgulla, and half-cooked Gajar Ka Halwa for her! I even have a Dudhpeda ready!”
Suddenly, Sam dashed toward the kitchen, leaving me to marvel at the restaurant’s swanky décor. The chandelier sparkled like a thousand stars, and the carpet gleamed so brightly it was practically showing off.
Then, the moment arrived. Sam came out balancing the biggest plate of sweets I’d ever seen, all while Savia, dressed in a stunning white gown, was walking toward him carrying a cake from "Sweet Chariot." It was like a Bollywood climax—both moving in slow motion, eyes locked. And just like in every great Bollywood moment, disaster struck!
Savia’s cake toppled onto the pristine white carpet, leaving a giant yellow stain. Sam’s sweet plate flipped into the air like an Olympic gymnast before crashing to the floor. Amidst this chaos, they embraced, but…wait for it…Sam’s back was ON FIRE!
Yes, folks, our Fireball was literally a fireball now! Savia screamed, the carpet caught fire, the curtains followed, and the entire restaurant went up in flames. But did Sam panic? Not for a second.
He grabbed Savia’s hand, a smile on his face, and as the smell of burnt caramel filled the air, they danced! Yes, with flames all around them, they swayed like they were the stars of some epic romantic tragedy, all while the restaurant was burning to the ground. It was like a scene out of a surrealist painting, except here, it was caramel-flavored chaos.
And then—Savia, armed with a hosepipe, doused Sam, putting out the fire on his back. But it didn’t stop there. Sam, ever the entertainer, grabbed the hose and started spraying everyone! We were all drenched, the sweets were soggy, and the once-pristine restaurant was a watery mess. But our Fireball Sam? He just laughed and shouted, “C’mon friends, let’s enjoy the party!”
And as we all danced, soaking wet, Sam sang his song once more:
Ho ho ho ho ho ho
Lira lira lo, lira lira lo
This is a world of half half full
This is a world laughing at you
Let’s drink dine dress and dance
Talk like men of words and plans
Let’s be men of top top class
Holding our drink in crystal glass
Put on a coat of fop top brand, you are taken to be the man of land
Ho ho ho ho ho ho
Lira lira lo lira lira lo
And that’s how our Fireball Sam became a Waterball that night.
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